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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?